Elaine 的个人资料♫~°~♪~°~Melodic Interval...照片日志列表更多  |  工具 帮助 |
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5月28日 ...I let my guard down....-_-... *~You. Again~* Your voice always sounds the same No matter how long we haven't spoken. I thought my heart could forget your name. I was wrong to follow the dream, And stupid for walking in deeper. I shouldn't wonder what it might mean. I'm not sure if I feel relieved Or disappointed with your absence. My mask could have been believed. Hearing you speak again tonight was enough To bring me back to this place where I'm struggling. I'm disappointed that I couldn't keep up the bluff. Now I wonder if it showed on my face And whether you could hear it in my voice. Of course it's impossible for you to be erased. The way you spoke to me made me think... Did you want to talk to me a little longer? I was scared, again, that my heart would sink. My eyes were stinging with a single tear- A tear that refused to leave my eyes. I still only like you, and that's what I fear. I wish someone could break through and save me. *~Frustration~* I want to be happy So I try to make myself smile. I thought frowning took more effort. I want to cry sometimes But before the tears can fall I tell myself I'm being pitiful. There are memories I want to hold on to But they're already fading away. All that time spent with him seems like a distant dream. I want to call him but I'm afraid... I'm scared it will make it harder for me to change. No one says anything but I know they can tell. I wish I could cry, even just once. This feeling in between makes it hard to breathe. Even when I think I'm smiling convincingly, I know it's a lie. Being unable to cry is the most pitiful. Trying to keep smiling is too painful. I'm lost again, and it's frustrating. I don't understand why I can't stop caring. I accept my fate to be separate from his But then, why this reaction Just from hearing his voice again? ♫~Elaine~♫ Why. I thought I changed but I'm as weak as ever. A 1 minute phone conversation about nothing at all is enough to draw me back to this state again. I thought I was unable to cry but as soon as I started, I couldn't stop. I wondered why I was crying for no reason and it only made it worse. I hate being stupid. 评论 (1)
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