poem I wrote last night. Did you think it was going to be depressing? lol I was feeling pretty sorry for myself last night but somehow someone made me happy anyway love you Yamapi ^_^ haha

anyway, not that it matters to anybody but the reason I was (am) feeling sorry for myself is the fact that it seems I'm the most popular person for bug bites. I got bit 5 times on the FOOT at school on friday and it was SO itchy and I couldn't help but itch it a lot (shouldn't have done that...) and then yesterday my foot was soooo swollen omg T_T my mom thought I was bitten by a poisonous bug or something which made me think I was going to die >_< Yea, I have my dramatic moments. but it was soo gross T_T and today it's less swollen but still swollen enough that I was limping around campus lol ...ok the end of my sad story.

Enjoy the poem please ^_^ it's one of the rare happy, hopeful ones haha

~Holes in My Heart~
You found your way, somehow,
And saw the shadow my heart cast.
You wondered who had left all these holes.

I can't remember now
All the heartaches from the past
But I guess the mark they left still shows.

When did you decide
That you'd save my life
And make sure all the holes disappear?

You didn't leave me
After seeing the damage.
Instead, you sought to cure all I fear.

Shine a light through me now-
The shadow's almost healed at last.
I can believe my heart will have no more holes.

♫~Elaine~♫

~Tearless~
I feel like I should be crying
On these nights spent in a memory
But perhaps it's no longer time for mourning
As time still continues insistently.

A smile is accompanied by guilt -
Do I betray my own feelings?
The brief happiness I had built...
Was I only obsessed with concealing?

I now speak of death objectively
Yet it would be better if I cried.
I'm bothered by the emotionless me -
All my thoughts lay unsorted inside.

I may or may not be able to cry in this darkness.
Perhaps in denial I will remain, for now, tearless.

This is a poem I wrote last night~~hopefully it doesn't seem too depressing haha
I'm not emo >_<

♫~Elaine~♫

~ My Ideal Boyfriend =P ~

Someone who will:

   •go to garage/yard sales with me and have fun seeing what cool stuff people have.
     Also to help me look for things I could use for artwork =P

   •watch dramas/movies with me and won't make fun of my crying and will also cry
     sometimes too

   •share his dreams with me and listen to mine and spend lots of time talking about  
     what the dreams could mean/symbolize

   •take walks with me and enjoy the beauty of nature and architecture around us

   •enjoy looking at the stars with me.   Even if we don't say much it wouldn't matter
     because we'd both be completely mystified by the beauty of the sky above ^_^

   •spend time with me in libraries looking at art, architecture, or anything else like
     that and not feel bored

   •enjoy going to places like museums and art galleries with me even if he may not
     be artistic at all.

   •go traveling with me to all the places I want to go to look at historical sites,
     architecture, art, museums, etc

   •sit with me while I watch baby bunnies at UVic for long periods of time >.<

   •come to family dinners and be loved by everyone, especially my little cousins
     because it's always cute to see cute guys surrounded by cute little kids/babies

   •drive around at Christmas time to look at the pretty Christmas lights and
     decorations

   •make snow people with me when it snows

   •be waiting for me after I've finished a hard exam to cheer me up

   •be waiting patiently for me even if I'm a little late because he'd know I wouldn't
     make him wait on purpose

   •enjoy going to operas, musicals, recitals, and concerts with me

   •take me to restaurants, tea places, coffee shops etc I've never been to before

   •Build-a-Bear with me ^_^

   •write me surprise notes/letters randomly

   •eat food I cook for him even if it's not good at first, and express joy as I become
     better and better at cooking

   •call me during thunderstorms to make sure I'm alright and not scared

   •run to my rescue if I'm ever in danger

   •show up with an umbrella because it always rains when I think I don't need one

   •let me cry on his shoulder

   •come visit me when I'm sick even if I tell him to stay away in case I make him
     sick, even if he can only stand outside beneath my window

   •run towards me happily and hug me after we've been apart for a long time

   •randomly do cute things like guys in asian dramas do, just to make me laugh and
     feel special

   •sing karaoke with me, or sing with me while I accompany us on the piano, or
     he'll accompany us on his guitar =P

   •make a hand-made Valentine's card for me, also birthday and Christmas cards :)

   •give me a rose on our anniversaries

   •build jigsaw puzzles, 3D puzzles/models of architecture with me on rainy days

...to be continued...(>.<)

lol this is just random...I decided to write down a list of things I'd like my future boyfriend to do/be like

This is only a small portion of the list I could create haha There will be more added as I think about it

Also maybe somewhere my future boyfriend will read this and make my dream come true ^_^ haha This list is pretty long but if you think about it, they're mostly pretty normal right? lol

Hmm, maybe I should translate it into Japanese so that Yamapi can read it easier haha he's the only one who really needs to know this list I guess >_< haha *sigh* I can't stay in my dream world forever but for now I'll keep believing Yamashita Tomohisa will be my future husband!! >_< lol

Actually, on another note, if you all make a list like this it can reveal a lot about what kind of person you are. I don't really know what my list says about me but I'm sure it shows something lol so you should all try it ^_^

Lastly, if any of you know anyone who looks at least 90% like Yamapi and would fit the list let me know ^_^ haha ~~

♫~Elaine~♫

yay :D I haven't really written anything in a long time! I wrote this one last night while lying in my bed with the beautiful moonlight shining in through the window ^_^ Hope everyone had a good Mid-Autumn Festival :)

~Dream~
I fell asleep bathed in moonlight
While I waited for a wishing star.
Where you are you're in sunlight-
We're always this far apart.

I write for you in the darkness,
I imagine how it could be.
If my life became more than just wishes
You'll finally be here with me.

I dreamed of you in the moonlight,
I only saw me in your eyes.
When you discover me in the sunlight
My dreams will no longer be lies.

I can pretend you're still coming this way.
This is the dream I wish to keep for today.

♫~Elaine~♫