Hey so here are 3 new poems I wrote last week:

~The Old Woman~
I met an old woman by the stream
While I was on my way to the fair.
She stood so still she could've been a dream
But something familiar kept me there.

She turned around and called to me
Yet I don't remember hearing her voice.
As I stood beside her she never did speak
The sound of time passing was the only noise.

From her basket she pulled out a memory,
A gift from her long lost lover.
I watched as she washed it preciously
With tears for the one gone forever.

I didn't know then why I felt all the pain
But somehow I felt like I knew her.
I didn't know then that our fates were the same
But her gift would be mine in the future.

I stood by the stream in my fantasy
And I realized I met a ghost that day.
The tears she cried were to be mine.
The old woman I met was me.

~I Believe~
I refuse to believe the reality in front of me
Though it is reconfirmed over and over again.
I refuse to believe it always ends painfully.

I don't want to believe love has an expiry date
But why does it always seem to end?
I'm safer living in the dream world I create.

Does the world really look different when we're alone
Or is it only a figment of our imagination?
Maybe I'm being warned by all the pain I'm shown.

I want to believe a love can last forever
Just like in the stories I've read.
I want to keep believing this painful treasure.

It's never wrong to give your whole heart away
As long as you've felt the happiness within.
It can hurt sometimes but I choose to believe anyway.

Every dream I've had may be broken now
But I've found strength from within the ruins.
I know I can create new dreams somehow
And I'll choose to believe in my love's vow.

Heartaches will make me apprehensive sometimes
But I still wish for my heart to be stolen.
I still want to believe in this perfect crime.

~My Lie~
With each lie I tell myself
I believe in you a little more.
They say this road is dangerous
And it may hurt more than before.

Somehow I find it comforting
Just to know that you're around.
I may always be dreaming
But to you, my heart is bound.

It feels like I'm sharing you
With people everywhere,
But your image, I can turn to
And your smile's always near.

You may never hear my words
But in my dream you remember.
If I pretend you love me too
I can be happy for much longer.

Maybe someday I really will reach you
And you really will be by my side.
Right now I'm willing to keep living this way
Because you are a part of my lie.

*So there you are ^_^ I hope some of you read it haha :P I tried to use "wash your clothes with tears" in the first poem but it would've sounded stupid lol so I kinda changed it >_< *

♫ ~Elaine~ ♫

Hey, here's a new poem I wrote while doing theory homework lol...yes, the muse strikes at really odd moments sometimes but here it is ^_^

~Rapunzel~

The illusion I created grows stronger each day
As piece by piece my heart slips away.
The perfect romance I dreamed in my head
Will grow more realistic with each tear I shed.

One day this illusion that I have created
Will lead me to the Prince I've long awaited.
Right now as I dream in my secluded cell
I can almost hear the words he will yell.

"Princess I knew you were more than a dream
Now in this world I've found you for real.
Princess I'll save you and make you my Queen
And vow to end the sadness you feel."

For such an illusion I dream every day
Though I know he's somewhere far away.
I choose to live life in this delusion
Knowing this love will have no conclusion.

The walls around me grow thicker each day
As piece by piece my heart's lead astray.
I dream of him with each tear I shed
As I patiently wait for the Prince in my head.

*~Elaine~*
Hope y'all like it ^_^ It's not really depressing this time haha...it's more...hopeful I'd say...XD
Oh, and I've been inspired by a question someone asked me on the phone a few minutes ago...(thanks Braden lol) "Do you wash your clothes with tears?" >_< JEEZ I'm not emo XD and even if I was emo I wouldn't have enough tears to wash my clothes with. HOWEVER as an artist/poet I think I can use that concept in one of my future poems lol or paintings...^_^ or in my comic haha :P Ok, now back to writing a Dance Suite in F Major....

*since I was in a rather reflexive mood last night I was able to write a poem haha...I don't know if this is any good but it felt good to be writing again :P

Do You Remember?

Do you remember conversations you've had as a child?
Are the things that made you smile still the same now?

The past years of wishes
And unspoken secrets
Dance within my memory nostalgically.
Time may be constant
But sometimes an instant
Is remembered as though it was an eternity.

Do you remember the dreams you've had as a child?
Is the person you loved still the one you love now?

The scattered memories
And childhood stories
Allow us to glimpse back to our previous reality.
Life seems so much longer
As we strive to get stronger
Sometimes we forget to live life happily.

Do you remember lyrics of the songs you always sang
Or have the words lost their meaning?
Do you remember all the things that hurt you deeply?
Are the things that made you cry still worth those tears?


*so there it is ^_^ a new poem after many months of not being able to write due to ridiculously not depressed feelings? lol I dunno what I'm saying anymore >_< ...Yamapi made me too happy to be able to write sad poetry >_< there. lol

Recently I've been thinking...(not that I don't think all the time or something)...but I've realized that I can't seem to write poetry well unless I'm depressed or sad haha.  Seems kind of ridiculous eh?  It seems I can express my sadness better than I can express happiness.  I don't know if I'm truly happy right now or if I'm just trying really hard to stay happy... I can say that Yamapi makes me happy everytime I see him, and it's true, but underneath it all am I really happy?  How can I believe so strongly that I'll always love him?  I know I don't need a boyfriend, but do I really want one?  I don't really know.  It seems to me that I'm too used to being alone and having a boyfriend would seem really weird.  Once in awhile we all get sick of being alone right?  Sometimes when everyone around you goes off in pairs you feel a little awkward.  I think that I'm more in love with the idea of true love and romance.  People around me seem to have more realistic views on love. It seems my wish for just one love that lasts a lifetime is really old fashioned... maybe I shouldn't have believed all those fairytales I read when I was younger haha

Anyway, I was watching a Japanese drama called Proposal Daisakusen (Operation Love), starring Yamapi (yay ^_^) and it was about this guy and a girl who have been friends since elementary school and they've always loved each other even though they could never tell each other properly.  The girl was going to marry another man and the guy was so full of regret that the fairy of the church (ok it sounds really strange right? haha it's really funny and touching at the same time) decides to give him a chance to go back to the time of the pictures in the wedding slideshow to try to change the reality so that he'll be the groom instead.  The guy goes back and everytime he changes something that makes the girl look happier in the picture but he never manages to tell her that he loves her (this really made me cry T_T it was so sad). After failing to change the present by going to the past he realized that he needs to change the present for the future and the fairy lets him go back to the time before the slideshow started and make his speech again.  Finally he told her that he loved her and the reason he couldn't say it before was because she was too special to him T_T (the actual speech was obviously longer and more touching but I'm paraphrasing) and then he congratulates her and hopes she'll be happy forever.  Obviously it will be a happy ending and the groom can tell that she still loves the guy so he tells her to go solve the problem that was bothering her.  The groom was so nice omg T_T he like sacrificed his own happiness T_T ANYWAY what I'm trying to say is, while watching this show I kept remembering how I always wished I could have a relationship like theirs (not exactly...because it was way sad...), to be with someone who I've always known since like elementary school and be in love forever.  Obviously that dream was shattered a long time ago haha I think because I had that dream, it made watching this drama even more sad.  That's my rationalization for crying so much this time haha >_< also I think I cried a lot because they were crying a lot in the drama too... and the music was really beautiful and sad T_T

Everyone should watch it ^_^ it's a good drama and Yamapi is really cute haha Anyway, I'm typing this while I'm in 'reality' mode, that is, while I'm not in my world with Yamapi haha >_< I wonder if anyone will read this haha...

♥~Elaine~♥